it is a dark dark day in the life of cleo....

sooo i have like 12 minutes to write a truely heartfelt and emotional blog...
lucky im not that deep.

I have just...broken up...with the gremlin.

It is very sad, but true. And blogging about it is the only way to get rid of this massive lump that feels like a potato wedged in my throat....to dissapear. SO im all alone. In a strange (not really but im painting a picture here) town. And the last place i want to go is home. I could stay here all night if i could...and blog. Blog about the tragedy that has just fallen upon me.

Not only have i paid out the ass for a trip to Phuket with this child...but I also just put a deposit on a rental with him too...my parents are gunna be pissed (see...they paid).

anywho...not much else to say.
but goodnight.

another amazing celeb blogger...

raw opinions are amazing....
and hulk hogan is waayyyyyy creepy.
http://www.damnimcute.com/

who the hottest in the world right now?

Kayne! Obviously. My fave blogger is currently on the radio...therefore the inspiration for my blog title! Even though I actually despise American Boy as a song (its just grating) Some of the lyrics are semi-rad!

Well I thought I'd start my blog nice and early this morning, so it'll be really long and pointless....and i'll just crap on whenever I'm bored with work!


So I had a curious question this morning. Who is the Timbaland/Nelly F/Timberlake song "give it to me" directed at? I know this is totally irrelevant to anything going on right now, but its always negged at me a little. So where did I go for my answer? WIKIPEDIA!!! Apparently each artists verse is directed at someone different. Nelly F is bitchin at Fergie (oh shes so delish..plastic...but delish), Timbaland is bitching a Scott Storch (i think the world still hates him for producing Paris Hilton's album...and fuckin with UB40!!) and Justin is directing his disses at Prince (whoaaaa.....ok, so one icon is up against another). It erks me a little when artists start feuding through song!! Like Eminem and....well everyone. Fiddy and Ja Rule (who's comeback was amazingly crappy!), Paris even had a go at Nic Richie! My my my...no wonder everyone is so angry...even our music is angry. Its like emo pop! hahahaha...oh i don't know why that is funny.


Ok so In my last celeb trawl, i stumbled across my god in his new ads...ladies n gents...Justin Timberlake for Givenchy:















can i just say..I now want to wear mens cologne...so I can smell like him everyday.


ew stalker moment! Fantastic ads! very effective *cough*cough*. I get a smack on the ass everytime I mention to Gremlin that I worship this man. I don't find him attractive looks wise. But his seX factor is like through the effin roof. Just take some time...and stare. hmmm.


SO ever since i told Chaka...(is that her name?) That I couldn't go on the weirdest trip of all time (the one to her ex boyfriends birthday...) and now I am being ignored!! Well! I never! tehehehe. Like I care. Ever since I left, she's only got druggos and cubs to keep her company (a cub is a cashed up bogan...don't ask where it came from..i have no idea myself!). SO she misses the one person who would give her an honest opinion. But I have a new life now...which does not include her. I haven't heard from the cubs back home in so long. I found out an ex friend of mine was talkin shit behind my back! So...If i ever see her again...im going to pull out a nice hefty chunk of her pretty blonde hair! She'd have to extend her bangs to cover her gigantic forehead. She also used to be really REALLY fat and then she got thin. Now her skin is sagging. I don't usually bitch about people's weight (cept my own) but this bitch deserves it. Ew! well theres my angry rant for the day!

So...I'm a little jealous. Of scene kids. Yes the kids who over eyelines themselves, and have the rad choppy hair!! They are fast becoming the new "it" kids. Move over blonde haired, blued eyed tanned biatches...make way for the scene. These kids are extremely confident, often confused with emos though. Do not mistake. They're not depressed...they know that everyone stares. My gremlin is part scene...he's like a cross breed. I think I've stated that before. I am unfortunately, way too preppy to be scene. Plus...I giggle. A lot. Ahh well, all I can do is observe!

An unfortunate event just happened. I actually bopped along to Miley Cyrus.
It is a dark day for Cleo.

Dark dark day.

nothing sweet about me....

so its safe to say that I stumbled accross the craziest blogger in cyberspace....and its none other than Kanye West. Who knew he'd have the time to write on his blog!!! I have a great appreciation for Kanye...he has come a very long way since 'workout plan' not that that was a bad song...it was just a bit inappropriate toward women. But his blog speaks volumes of what is going on in that head of his! click below to see what I mean:

http://www.kanyeuniversecity.com/blog/

And his fans are just as nuts! But hey...we're all a little crazy.

I'm insane.

Anywho, its a sunny wednesday afternoon.

I'm halfway through the working week! joy. Two more days of trawling for bloggers more interesting than I.

OMFG! I forgot to inform you that my precious car was found...in a very dingy part of the city I live in. Suprise Suprise...it was stolen for a joy ride! They could pick something better than a Honda Jazz!! The ignition was trashed but fortunately they left all my self indulgent junk in the car. Obviously my assortment of hair brushes didn't interest them.

Sighhhh.

im sleepy.

Tonight is another gym session with gremlin.

I don't think I'm losing weight. I really really want too. Get rid of the puppy fat and keep my nice...um...assets...I have two if ya get what I mean.

SO new celeb gossip....Perez Hilton has waged a war on Lily Allen, and apparently it's for no good reason! Why a gay man would pick a fight with a feisty brit is beyond me. Not that gay men can't fight...but she's british....they are a tough race of people!

Also, there are now photos of Miranda Kerr (ahhh another gorgeous aussie!) and Oralando Bloom frolicking on a beach...naked! Go them. Nakedness is liberating! And at least they have the bodies to do it. Not so hot when Ivana Trump whips off her clothes!

END OF CELEB SESSION. Not really much to report today.

So paying off my holiday to Phuket is leaving me pretty broke. This is the golden time to ask mummy and daddy to help me out. I really need urgent waxing...and plus I want a fringe. The gremlin is getting his hair bleached and its constant competition with us! Ahhh bangs. Im going to look super cute!

OMFG! Charva emailed me this morning, requesting i accompany her to QLD to go to her ex bfs birthday. This is the girl who stole a guy away from me, and is now going out with him. She wants to go to her ex (who by the way asked her to move to QLD to be with him like a week ago...hello scandal. The next day she starts going out with...lets call him dead tooth...cos he has one..Ew. last time i go for personality!!) 's birthday party!! Does anyone else not see how Days of Our Lives this is....or Dynasty...ahhh Dynasty. I long to be like Alexis. Shes fantastic.

Anywho, I have a new obsession (apart from Katy Perry....she's still up there!) and its the Blue Jean Hermes Birkin. Its now on the Wish List. Love.......

If anyone wants to buy it for me...just let me know.

until next time...take care of yourself and each other...

im feeling pure....

SO IM BACK WITH MY USELESS BABBLE.



Ghd have just released their new straighteners her in Australiiaaaaa.....and I'm very unsure about which one I should get.



I really like the white one...cos I do believe that I'm pure of spirit (somewhere a tingle has just gone down my bf's spine! hahaha) but I enjoy the slick oilyness of the black one.



hmmmm....

this is how hard my life gets.

we will all laugh at gilded butterflies...

Ok, So Im not 100% sure what my blog title has to do with my blog. But its the tattoo Miss Fox has on her shoulder, so there ya go.

Speaking of Miss Fox and tattoos....she has her fiancee (or ex....if rumors are anything to go by!)'s name tattooed on her lower hip. Ok. I'm all for love. But seriously, nothing is certain...and if the reports are true....she's either going to ruin that lovely tummy of hers...or...have to a do a JD (johnny depp) and change it...into like...brain or something!

Soooooo, I'm off to Phuket in November with the Gremlin. Woot woo! Two weeks of shopping, massages, sunning, swimming, drinking, and yeah...whatever else you do over there. I'm so excited!!!!

There is really not much else hey...the minx is away for the week. So that means less work for me....hahahaha. I'm so lazy. But i do go to the gym like every night, so I deserve some down time....even if i am getting paid for it!!!

Still house hunting. My fave place got sold...which was upsetting! It was uber adorable. Very suitable for me n the gremlin!

I will post later about some un-important junk....

kissessss
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx and a little hug ...o

ahhhh celebs.

Spotted: The very 'loved' up lead singer of the Vines and his missus (K.J from the Follow) cuddling their way through Galaxy looking disgustingly happy! Ain't love grand??

Ahhhh Galaxy...my little home away from home!

It seems Hilary Duff has a new passtime (apart from putting a scorpion down her panties.....new movie...not a kinky sex game!)...
She shops. A shitload.
http://wwww.imnotobsessed.com/category/hilary-duff.
It may seem a little weird, but I believe Hilary is a mad trooper. I mean her punk bf drops her, takes up with one of the most well-known trashbags on reality tv...then knocks her up. And is in Vanity Fair. Death. That would be humiliating. Luckily she has a nice hunky hockey player to comfort her on those lonely nights. I salute u Hilary, if only for the scorpion in the panties trick!

Well, there is a report going around that Megan Fox, quite possibly the hottest person alive, has split from her old man fiancee, Brian Austin Green (90210 anyone??). Ok, So she's amazingly gorgeous, she could have anyone. And I mean anyone. Extremely devout catholic women would turn for this girl! .....ok...so I may have a girl crush. But she's hot. Im only human. Gremlin n I fight over her. Personally, I think she swings both ways. But that's just my opinion! She'd do nicely with like...Jude Law...or Johnny Depp. Now those would be stunning children. Wow. Babble much? No, she needs someone young and adventurous. Like Chris Angel....bahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahah.

Jesse McCartney (yes the cutie turned soft core porn star....sighhhh) is dating some whore from one of Diddy's reality shows. Woo. She hooked up with Jenna Jameson (but then again, that might not be that hard?!?!?! who knows). And yeah. She has fake hair. Suprise Suprise. He goes from nice girls to skanks. Will he be taking her to mommy....we thinks not.......


Miley Cyrus's song is upsetting me. She upsets me. Its just one of those songs, that like....grates.
Hmmm...

Ok, enough about celebs. Im boring myself, and probably you when you read this.

it's over now....go on and take a bow (thank you RiRi)

xoxox

My dictionary

Not that there is any great fear of somebody finding out my identity (who gives a shit right???), I've decided to come up with a dictionary for all the "places" "people" and "inicdents" that happen in my boring little life....
lets start shall we

my new hometown: Scattered
My old hometown: stubby little shit hole....no...thats way too long to write in a sentence. ahhh Chunk. yeah that'll do.
Me: Cleo of course
My mans: Gremlin....(i adore him, but sometimes i see shades of one)
My "best" friend: Charva...(she's a bit of a douche!)
My rents: The ATM's.
My sister: ahhhh...hmmmm. there are some words that come to mind, but I do love her so I won't be so cruel. We'll just call her poodle.
My token Azn....who hates all azns: Miff. Cos she is constantly miffed!
My bf's little hub: Galaxy....because there is every kind of person, animal, thing, there constantly.
Bitches and hoes: abominator/s.
The peeps at work: lemmings.
my boss: the minx.

If there is anything else...i'll add it later.....but i will post a new blog after this one. Can't add a whole blog to a dictionary.
xoxo

could she get any radder......

no.....

she is just brilliant.

its been a while...

ahhh britney...thank you for my blog title....

Its been 17 days since my last blog. I'm a slack bitch. Its true.

Life is pretty ho hum. I'm still chubby (I am now going to the gym....every fucking day). Still un-fashionable (although thanks to the nutty boyfriend, thats slowly changing). Still pissed about the amount of paperwork on my desk. And still have no home. I can live at the boys...but I have on drawer for my stuff there. One. One for my pants. Skirts. Dresses. tops. Underwear. ONE DRAWER. Dire situation....i think so. Ok. So it's not as bad as it seems. But I have to give back my hire car on Monday (i hate my rents for denying me the pleasure of a car....spoiling me for 19 years and then stopping it so suddenly is fuckin tight. well not really. I should be grateful. But lets face it. I'm not. No Spoilt child ever is grateful. Its just not in our DNA)

SO I have two new obsessions....wheels and dollbabys' new 'La Clemintine' line, cos its french and raunchy. and Katy Perry. Shes american and dam adorable. and she can sing a pretty rad tune. My obsessions are going to cost me money. Money I don't have. Cos I've made the idiodic descision to move in with my mans. After 3 and 1/2 months. Im fuckin insane I swear. Maybe cos for the first time in my life i've found someone who treats me the way I deserve to be treated.....like shit. It may seem fucked, but I've done the nice boyfriend thing...and they all lasted around two months, then I broke it off claiming that my heart just wasnt in it. But now, I have a supremely evil boyfriend, whos controlling and moody. And doesn't care if he hurts my feeling by telling me I'm fat. Or that my nose is too big (which it isn't. We're talking button here, but he knows i have issues with my nostrils. He preys on my weakness) despite all these awful things that he does, I'm deliriously happy. Mental issues anyone??

Gah....Pink just came on the radio. I used to adore. But now. She just upsets me. She's way too pissed off with everything. But then she has this strong pop element. IT DOES NOT WORK ANYMORE. Millions of lesbians would disagree with me, and probably try to hunt me down, but shmeh, my opinions are my opinions.

Back to Katy Perry. She's also dating Travvy from Gym Class....thats just an adorable image right there. She's my new fashion inspiration. When I get the money, I will be her.

Getting my fringe cut next week. I don't give a fuck what my hairdressers say...my forehead is not too small for a blunt straight fringe. I will fuckin rock it...cos thats the way (i will from now on) roll. And I have this strong urge to go dark...like almost black. But I am woggy looking, which doesn't work in my favour. Ahhh being scottish, shouldn't i look a little more highlandery than euro trash? No....until I get my green contacts. Then I'll be scchhhwweeett....

Todays pin-up was chosen: cos I'm feeling a little bit black...and I'm dressed in all black. NINJA!!!!!

wow. fuckin longest blog I've written.

better do work.

Until next time, take advantage of every situation you can.

oh megan

for someone who is amazingly beautiful, I'm really not digging the dress.....

its way too cupcake for such a sexy girl.

Sorry Megan.

xoxox

hmmm

well the weekend...not so good.
Some seed f**k, stole my car.

And I had another fight with the boyfriend. But all is right in the world again. Apart from the car. My parents return from the leisure time overseas on Thursday, I'm going back to my shithole town on Saturday, and probably getting game on on Saturday night. That is to say, my game of drinking and dancing, not picking up men. As I am spoken for, and happy about it.

There's nothing else really to report. It was fairly slow. AH my supposed best friend C, who was going on a date wit the guy who took my V Plates, didn't end up going. Even if she did, the guy is so tragic (yes...i openly admit how doughy my descision to sleep with this person was. Hes hot, but hes also a hot mess) that she is more than welcome to him. I'd even give a toast at their wedding, congratulating her on terrible sex for the rest of their lives!

B, L , C, M, J and others celebrated L's birthday, after a turbulent week where a pic of her ended up on another persons blog (be warned whoever you are....you're a dirty perverted F!). They hired a massive hummer and got totes trashed in the back. Lordy, I'm glad I didn't go. They were all making out. Sounds fun...but wayyyyy too high school. Plus, I am somewhat of a relationship person now, and therefore not too keen on getting kissed by another boy. A wouldn't mind if I kissed a girl, in fact he'd be overjoyed. As most men would.

Fairly slow day at work. My boss is back from a week away, which is nice. I have a little more direction in my day.

Diet starting again. Lets see how many kilos I can lose without givin in and having a whole bucket of KFC to myself. Although the weightwatchers pizza is totes yummy. hmmmmm.

Anyway. I hope i have more interesting news for you in the future.

Isn't my latest pin-up cute? I decided to use her as it is raining here today.

go find someone to kiss
xoxoxo